A little over a year ago, I started to vocalize my theory that one day, one day very soon, cows were going to take over the world. My bovine conspiracy theory began to rapidly gain support, and after a few articles, speeches and screenplays, I had a small but fierce cult following preparing their futures for the impending cowpocalypse.
Like many great cult leaders, I appear to have been off on my prediction by a few years (Moo-msday will happen. Probably 2024. Don’t hold me to that). In the meantime, I am starting a new end-of-the-world cult for who those who are open to believing that it is not cows but DOUGHNUTS that are going to take over the world.
Don’t believe me? Check out this massive donut on top of Randy’s Donuts in Inglewood, California. There she stands, her own skyline, likely the mother ship calling her donut drones home, ready to release the world domination signal when the time strikes, when we are all too doughy to fight back, simply half-donut half-human blobs and the ocean is one big, oily deep fryer. It all sounds pleasant and dandy now, sure, but if you really think about it, it’s a morbid way to go.
I unexpectedly but nonetheless enthusiastically found myself at a third donut shop with less than three hours left in my California trip. Connor’s parents knew I would love this classic LA landmark, and, being the gems that they are, took us on a day of exploring to see The Getty Museum, Venice Beach, and Randy’s Donuts before dropping us off at LAX airport.
Open since 1953, Randy’s is a drive through that serves donuts and coffee to those of us who can’t be troubled to get out of our cars to acquire sustenance. They also have an outdoor walk-up counter that gives off a super chill, old school vibe and painfully reminds me of the beautiful, year-round weather grappling LA.
There’s nothing fancy about this place, it’s borderline a dive, but it was an awesome experience. The humble donut sculpture atop of the establishment is a revered homage to the classic beauties resting on the shelves behind the glass. Best of all, with unpretentious donuts comes reasonable prices!
Prices are: Classic – $1, Deluxe $1.10, Fancy $1.35, Premium $1.50-$2.50, plus $2 off any dozen. Only an extra 35 cents to get fancy? Girl, you already know.
See that shirt on the employee above? Randy’s sells merchandise, too! If you place an order of donuts through the Postmates delivery service, you can also get a t-shirt, sweater, hat, etc. I must say, I am becoming increasingly self conscious of how lacking the amount of donut apparel in my wardrobe is… Unfortunately, Randy’s does not postal mail anything.
As I stood behind the glass, hyperventilating with glee, I feasted my eyes upon racks on racks of just-out-the-fryer doughnuts.
I would like to point out second row, second tray, second from the back: the big guy, Randy’s famous giant donut. I wanted it, I wanted it bad, but I refrained.
Working our way through, the top row has pretzels and chocolate fudge. Underneath are blueberry glaze, orange glaze and strawberry glaze variations. Randy’s also has noteworthy toppings of fruity pebbles, fruit loops, m&ms, Oreos, s’mores, Samoa, toasted coconut and heath (just to name a few), plus the usual classics. A little bit of everything is offered, always fresh, because their popularity keeps the inventory moving.
Below are the donuts that won our tummies. I got the Samoa: a light, chewy yeast dough with chewy caramel, toasted coconut and a chocolate drizzle. Connor got a chocolate old fashioned, which is quickly becoming his go-to order. Connor’s mom asked us to get her an old fashioned and her hubs brought her back.. well he forgot what she asked for, but he got her something close.
All in all, we enjoyed our treats. No cutting-edge flavors, just classic pastry lovin’.
The individual detail shots of each donut are admittedly sub par for this post, but I did the best with what I had. Your nomad over here had to zip off and catch her plane back to New York. It was already after 3pm and our flight was at 6:30pm and we had to plow through LAX traffic, so we ate on the road, hence the interior of a car scenery. For better shots, check out their Insta!
The bottom right photo is documentation of Connor’s budding hand modeling career! Such a perfect arc in his wrist, he was born a natural!
This is how it starts people. One day you’re eating a normal fist-sized donut, smiling, happy, full of hope and joy. Then donuts stage a social media takeover and get cuter and cuter until suddenly artisanal doughnuts are all anybody can post pictures of. Meanwhile, donut holes come along pretending like they’re a mini snack, when in reality you end up eating more.
Then they get bigger. That’s when you have to worry.
A donut UFO has already landed in LA and people worship it. Before you know it, YOU WILL BE THE DONUT, caught up in the mayhem of a fried doughpocalypse.
If my predictions are true… I will likely be one of the first to go. Godspeed my friends.
Flavor: 7.5/10 – Nothing bad, nothing crazy. I’d go back, of course, but only if it was on the way.
Bang for Buck: 10/10 – The prices speak for themselves. Really, $1, and in Los Angeles???
Aesthetics: 8/10 – Despite being featured in multiple movies (Iron Man 2, Dope, Entourage and more), the place itself was a little rough around the edges. However, this drive-through/walk-up donut shop concept is exactly what our innovative country needs more of.